You know, I haven’t spent much time writing about marriage on Just a Sparrow. Maybe because I don’t see my 1 1/2 years as much to give advice on, maybe because I sinfully feel the need to appear like we have it all together, or maybe I just don’t know where to start.
Well, I decided to start today. I want this place to be open and honest and to speak the truth of God’s words into the lives of it’s readers, and I can’t do that if I avoid touchy subjects.
Marriage is a touchy subject because it’s been so diluted, frazzled, distorted, and fantasized on that no one has the gall to state their opinions. In such a “tolerant” culture, marriage has the butt end.
By definition, marriage is the mutual consent of two people, a man and a woman, to be in a covenant (not contractual, there is a difference) relationship until only death separates them.
In other words, it’s a big deal. It’s a commitment and a whole-hearted choice to love someone unconditionally for forever, just like Jesus does for us, regardless of our sins, our failures, and our habits.
Every marriage is different and every marriage falls into a million different categories. Relationally, physically, spiritually, emotionally, and habitually. As different as each person is, is how much more different each marriage can be.
There is glory in the differences. Just like God created billions and billions of plants and animals and substances, so He combined every type of partnership and relationship possible between a man and a woman.
Maybe you’re the free spirit and your husband is the nerd. Maybe he’s the outdoorsy one and you’re a homebody. Maybe you talk a lot, maybe he doesn’t. Maybe you’re an extrovert and maybe he’s introverted. Maybe he’s tall, you’re short. Maybe he’s brave and confrontational, maybe you’re quiet and graceful. Maybe you’re hands-on, while he’s quietly observant. Do you see the possibilities? And all of these could be a single marriage! There is surely God’s glory in the biggest of such diversity.
Marriage is an agreement between the two of you and God, ultimately. Period. It is up to your whether or not you want to live and love that man. It is up to you whether or not you want to work through life’s struggles alongside that lady.
I remember a very clear moment in my life during our engagement where I realized the choice I was making. I saw my husband for what he was, what he had been, and what he could one day become. And I chose to love that man for every piece of him. I chose to give him the grace and the forgiveness and whole-hearted devotion regardless of what I knew of him and in light of the forgiveness, grace, and whole-hearted devotion that Jesus continues to pour on me.
Living the life of marriage means so much more than caring for each other’s physical needs. It means devoting your life to prayer over this person, for his spiritual walk with Jesus, for her sanctification through the spirit, and for each other’s emotional, sexual, and mental health and purity. It means, not avoiding important issues or failures, but rather a humbled devotion to actually seek them out so that you can cover them with prayer and work through them together. It means sacrificing ourselves so that the other can be bettered. It means working every single day to promote the wellness of our spouses. It means dying to ourselves, taking up our cross, and giving it all away.
It means living like Jesus.
This is the foundation of our life as we know it: sanctification. “Be holy, as I am holy.” (1 Peter 1:16) This is the only thing that keeps our minds and our hearts from the corruption of the world and the sinfulness of our own hearts, striving for holiness and allowing God to work in us and in our spouses to provide a growing environment for this holiness.
Praise the Lord that He created such a glorious partnership between two equal, yet diversely different creations! We fit like a puzzle piece and we sharpen one another.
“I pledge my devotion of deep love for you. I choose you to be mine. My best friend and most importantly, my partner in life. I promise to cherish and care for you, in sickness and in health as long as we both shall live. I will be faithful to you and honest with you. I promise to make our marriage and relationship one of faith, honesty, and of deep trust.”
Do you remember your vows? Recently, we decided to post them where we can see them often, on our desktop wallpaper! If you’re interested in having a wallpaper of your vows, I’d be more than happy to provide you with one (free of charge!). Visit our contact page or leave a comment below with your vows in quotes, your email address and some preferred background ideas and I’ll get working right away. And may God bless our marriages daily!