Married: roles.

Let me start by saying how abundantly grateful I am for a husband who works well. There are days he’s up at 5am prepping for work. While this baby keeps me in bed as often as I can get it, he’s never late and he never complains. I can see the stress and exhaustion on his face often, but he never lets it get in the way of his work. For that I am so grateful.

He is this way because somewhere along the way, God instilled in him his role as husband: to provide. It’s engrained on a man’s heart to want to find fulfillment in work and to work well to fulfill the needs of others. Whether it be for his wife, children, parents, friends, or his boss. Men are born with an innate and beautiful need to provide.

Which is perfect, because we women are born with an innate need to care, to be cared for, and to care for others. God knew that to care for others well, we needed to be provided for. And God knew that to provide for someone, we needed to be cared for.

He set up this beautifully flowing relationship that, when executed properly, worked as simply and as surely as gravity. Now, taking our sin into account, He also knew that we wouldn’t always act (or want to act) in our God given roles. He knew we’d try to take over for each other. He knew we’d try to do it all instead of working as a team. That’s why we have the Holy Spirit.

Now, I’m talking generally here. I don’t mean that the man has to work so-and-so job and the woman has to homemake and craft (although that’s my personal preference). No, I’m talking in our attitudes, we must learn to see each other in the way God created us.

When a man isn’t able to find work, he can easily feel worthless. When a woman can’t make a decent meal, she can fall into depression. Situations like these need to be handled with grace. Not all of us were designed to be super moms and business men. There are thousands of options for work nowadays and God allowed freezer meals to be invented for a reason. My point is, the guilt that comes on a man or woman when they have a skewed view of what their roles mean is not from the Lord.

Rather, a conviction to change a heart attitude is what comes from God. And there is a big difference.

Conviction teaches, encourages, and yes, rebukes. But conviction doesn’t guilt. A good teacher never guilts her student into getting a better grade because she’s wise enough to know it’s ineffective. A good teacher encourages and teaches through example and correction.

This is the Holy Spirit we know. This is the God we love.

I encourage you this week to examine your role as a husband or wife. Meditate on scriptures like 1 Corinthians 7 and Ephesians 5 and join me in asking God to “Search [us], O God, and know [our] heart[s]. Try [us] and know [our] thoughts. And see if there be any grievous way in [us], and lead [us] in the way everlasting.” Psalm 139:23-24

What do you think? Where do you succeed and where do you fail in your marital role? How can we at Just a Sparrow pray for you and yours? Leave us a comment below or join the conversation on Facebook!



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