Motherhood: when they just want you to hold them.

The dishes will grow legs and chase me down if I don’t get them in the dishwasher soon. The laundry is sprouting children. My carpet is full of bobby pins and dust bunnies. There are a million things I could do to improve my household at this very moment.

But my baby is crying for me.

I feel such guilt sitting on my butt, just holding or nursing my newborn, when I’m staring at a pile of folded laundry that hasn’t made it to it’s places for two days, or see the dust building up on the shelves, or I smell the pile of dirty cloth diapers in the room next to me.

And he just wants me to hold him, talk with him, tell him how much I love him.

So unproductive. So lazy. I must be a bad mom for not being able to keep everything up.

Have you felt this way? Some proverbs 31 wife I am, I can’t even keep the fridge well stocked let alone spin my own fabric and churn my own butter.

I’m no supermom. But God never told us that we had to be, did He? Oh, I thought that was the 11th commandment: thou shall be supermom. No? Whoops.

I put so much pressure on myself to always have it all together, when Jesus came because we never could get it together in the first place. I constantly have this drive to have everything in place, and for what? A magazine worthy home? A life that I can show off? A perfected list of do’s and don’t’s?

What a waste of time!

The men who followed Jesus never got it all together. In fact, living a life of devotion to Jesus tore every tiny piece of normalcy from their lives. They had no routine, no plan, no list to cross off. They had nothing but the Lord to keep their eyes on.

Even as a mom, with chores up the wazoo, a baby who needs my constant attention, and a hubby who works hard and deserves my whole heart, mind, and body, everyday, I feel the pull of surrendering my life. To give up all I have, to lay it all down, for the sake of Christ who saved us. To simply come to Him, and let him hold me, instead of trying to win His approval through a clean kitchen.

And that’s really what it all comes down to: am I living my life in light of Christ’s redemption, allowing His work and his timing to take over mine? Or am I living for myself and my own accomplishments and list and time management?

In light of Jesus, there is great joy in the miracle of my son. Him needing me to simply sit and hold Him echoes the great need I have for Jesus to simply sit with me, hold me, and tell me that he loves me.

There is nothing greater than a God who loves us enough to set aside the world and it’s problems and chores and simply love on us. Nothing greater than a God so enamored with us that He sent His own son to take our place. That is the gospel. Praise God!

Therefore, in light of this great truth, as I write, I’m cuddled up on the couch, holding my little man, reminding him that he is more important to me than my to-do list.

Thanks for listening! Always a joy to share with you.

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8 thoughts on “Motherhood: when they just want you to hold them.

  1. Sweet girl, many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.

    As you pick up your son when he cries, you are telling him, “your needs matter to me’. You are building into his character that he is cared for and loved, which will give him the great confidence he needs to grow up and try his hand at many things. When you are there to praise him with a voice that he recognizes as ‘his mommy’, you are not just assuring him that you noticed, but you are building into him to do it again and not to give up. You are teaching him to perservere. Because of your sacrifice to put him first above all other to do lists, you are teaching him priorities and importance.

    Don’t sell yourself short and don’t allow anyone else to disqualify you. You have chosen a career of nurturing, growing and preparing a man for the kingdom of GOD! It is a high calling and one that you are equipped for because you do glean from the love letters that direct your steps. You are a beautiful mommy and you are providing a rich heritage for this little man.

    For those days when you really do have to get something done and Fletcher is just being fussy try wearing a sling or snugglie. He will be close to you and you will have free hands. I remember having Meri in one while being pregnant with Kati! That thought fills my heart great joy. In the moments when he really needs your attention, sit and rock your baby. Pour into his life and the blessings you will reap you will not be able to contain.

    The pay…. hugs and kisses in abundance. There’s nothing like it and you are a rich woman. As for your husband, he’s safe and loved and honored. He has a wife that knows her calling and she’s not buying into what the world says she has to take on. She is simply strong, has conviction and is altogether lovely. He knows his son is safe and loved and honored as he leaves his home to provide for the two of you. He knows that when he comes home, he comes home to his heart. Honestly, it is the reason he does what he does, to get home to you.

    I’m so proud of you, (for what that is worth) you have the right perspective. You have the right goals. You have chosen the better things. I love you. I’m praying for you. I love your life and yes, JESUS is good all of the time.

    xoox
    b.

    • Thanks Bonnie! I do love holding him, knowing that one day he’ll be a great man of God. I feel God’s call on him already and we pray often for his salvation and purpose in life. Thank you so much for your encouragement and loving words! They mean the world to me. Thanks for reading my posts too, I’m honored!! Love you tons, and miss you dearly. :)

  2. You amaze me! So young and so wise. You are the perfect wife for my son, the perfect mommy for Fletcher and the perfect daughter for Lance and I, because God ordained it. I am so grateful He chose you for all of us! Keep holding my sweet grandson, I’ll do the dishes next time I come to visit. I Love You!!

    Lori

  3. I might add, as Zac’s Grammy, that you are an amazing granddaughter. As with our children, be began to pray for Zac’s wife and children the day he was born. You are such a blessing to us all. We love all of you so very much. I would do the dishes if I were there, well that is if I wasn’t holding my great grandson and just loving him to pieces.

  4. This is so beautiful. My children are both grown and just a few days ago I wrote a post on the other side of it, where I am now. I can’t go back. I can’t rock my babies one more time. I can’t tend to their boos boos one more time and cuddle with them and read them a bedtime story. I can’t make it all better with just a hug and a kiss.

    One of the things I said in my post was “And I won’t lose the NOW. I will hold on to it, I will enjoy it, and I will fight for it.”

    I am loving the men that they have become and are becoming, and I am enjoying who they are now. My oldest just got engaged to a beautiful girl and I can hardly believe he is old enough to get married, lol!

    Enjoy the NOW. Fight for it. Cherish it. Because that baby will be walking away from you into his own life sooner than you know. Laundry will always be there, my friend! You’ll get to it soon enough! So enjoy the now!

    • Thank you for the comment! And thank you for your post, I just finished reading it and I think it was very timely. There are only so many moments with our little ones, and I look forward to enjoy every one of them as they grow! Good job, Mama! Your family is beautiful. :)

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