Married: we all have different stories.

This is for you, wives, moms, sisters, grandmas, nieces, friends. Women. First of all, you are beautiful. You were crafted the way you are and nothing you do or say will change the fact that you are a being that portrays, enables, and creates beauty.  God designed you as the ying to man’s yang (excuse the pagan reference, but you get it), with the perfect complimentary attributes, attitudes, and talents to man. God made us this way so that when we unite in the covenant of marriage, we depict an example of God in His entirety. Like a man, God is strong, brave, and leads. Like a woman, God is caring, submissive, and vulnerable. And like mankind in general, and marriage specifically, God is beautiful! God is also perfectly faithful, full of grace, and powerful beyond our measure.

Some called us crazy for marrying so young. We heard it all: you’ll break each other’s hearts, you’ll lose yourselves, you’ll regret the life that you could have lived had you stayed single, you’re too immature, you’re just being impatient.

At that point in my life, nothing anyone could have said would have changed my mind or made me doubt my decision. In fact, when I faced opposition, it fanned a flame that grew inside of me to not only prove that God could work in a marriage, even one as young as ours, but that we could live fruitfully because of it.

We women were given certain traits at the beginning of God’s creation of our gender. Traits of power, of dependence, of vulnerability. We are not just simply living as society has told us women do, but we were designed to live this certain way. Being submissive, quietly supporting, bravely depending on God’s words and our husband’s faith is not the end of our roles as women. We are called to a life of abundance. I’m so tired of people putting people (or themselves) in boxes, telling them they must do this, have to accomplish this, should really get into this, etc, etc. Blah blah blah. Don’t you think that God is big enough and mighty enough and perfect enough to have a unique and beautifully different plan for every person who has ever lived? 

One of the greatest blessings I’ve seen in our marriage has been the opportunity to grow into our God-given roles and embrace our God-ordained dreams. As a young couple, we hardly had the chance to figure out life alone before we were joined in marriage. We barely had to wonder what it would be like to be husband and wife before we were placed in that very situation, day by day, learning to love one another.

And to think that this blessed life I live now was once opposed. To think that some counseled me against marriage and towards a “life of accomplishment” in books and degrees. To think that I opposed the blessing of a baby because I was afraid of loosing my freedom as a wife and woman. What God has ordained, let no man oppose. He knows so much better than we!

Our marriage has been one of the hardest parts of each of our lives. But then again growing up has always been hard. At least we’ve had each other’s hand to hold through it all. God knew.

I’m so thankful for my husband. I’m so thankful that he works hard and he fights for me and for Fletcher. I’m so blessed to be open and honest and truly learn about one another. I’m so honored to hold his deepest needs and wants and dreams so close to my heart. I’m so glad he trusts me with his life and I’m so glad I can trust him with mine.

This is my story, not yours. You have your own and it’s beautifully unique. Don’t let our silly world or your own fears keep you from living in the light of God’s creativity and the shadow of His cross. Let Him write your story, as creative as He can make it, just for you! Whatever opposition you’re facing, whether in good intention or not, have faith that if God has brought you to this moment and this decision, that His will matters above all others. Have no fear in the future, for God knows & He’s been there & it’s all good.

What is your unique story?

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5 thoughts on “Married: we all have different stories.

  1. I, like many women, relate to your story so completely! While I am not married yet I already know who it is I am to marry and we will be married oh so soon (I hope!!!!) I love him so dearly and I know just as securely as I now my salvation is through Christ that I am going to marry him. Already I have heard people scowl and misunderstand my intentions and this post is very encouraging! Brian and I want to do this right; we want to please God and glorify HIm with our relationship and soon our relationship as a married couple. I like your sentence, “Have no fear in the future, for God knows & He’s been there & it’s all good.” It is Oh So true! God bless you for being purly awesome and for providing such uplifting encouragement for me! I wich you a wonderful Tuesday!
    – Dusty.

    • Aw Dusty! I’m so happy for you and Brian! And I’m so glad I can encourage you. God has the power to bring together, work in, and grow any couple in any situation. I can already see Him working in you guys! Our goal in marriage is to bring glory to God, and you two will no doubt. God bless you both as you journey together. Love & prayers to you!

  2. You amaze me again. So many women can’t bear to use the “S” (submissive) word because they think it means the end of their independence and identity. What they don’t understand is being submissive to our husband’s leadership in our homes is God’s ordained role that we were specifically designed for. When we fulfill that role as He would have us to, we are blessed beyond measure. We don’t lose our identity, we show off our identity as His child.
    Thank you for opposing those who counseled you not to marry so young. You have brought an immeasurable joy to our family and a completeness to Zac.
    I am always so honored to read your thoughts on your marriage. I am blessed and encouraged to know that you and Zac really get what’s important. I know that your journey, no matter what the twists and turns, will be walked together, hand in hand with each other and Christ.
    Much Much Love!!
    -Lori

  3. You’re right. Much of the time we try to live our lives under the thumb of others’ expectations. God has given each of us a unique path and every time I compare my path to someone else’s journey, I end up frustrated and discouraged. I’m grateful for God’s unique callings and wirings in each of us. And I’m encouraged that you are embracing your unique calling and life. Great thoughts here and I’m thankful you shared them with Wedded Wed. :0

  4. Hey Lilah! It’s Kee, not sure if you know but our beginnings were much the same… At the beginning, the opposition, being young. Now , there is a big split because submission is something I misunderstood for years, I have been married for nearly 7 years now and God has blessed us abundantly… Thank you for refocusing me, reminding us all that the young in years are not always the young at heart… I am sure blessed to have you and your family in my life…

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